Divorce, is a painstaking, end to a bond between two individuals that was meant for eternity. The process can be frightening and sometimes long and painful.
However, when getting a divorce, this does not mean, you have to bankrupt the other spouse, or even use children as leverage for more money. There is still a common thread that both individuals should keep in mind and that is love. The mate you picked may not have matched your qualities perfectly, they even may have gained weight, or went a little gray earlier than expected, but there is a reason why you married that man/woman, from the start.
Though you may be calling it quits, keeping centered can ease the pain and most importantly, have you work amicably to find the best solution for both parties (children as well), so that each spouse can move forward in their lives with dignity. Then you ask, “What now?”
Primarily, check and see what your state requires to file accurate divorce papers. For example, a divorce attorney in Raleigh, North Carolina, can help you file a “no fault divorce”, which simply means, you do not have to prove adultery, drunkenness, or abusive behaviors etc. All that is required is, a year of separation or incurable insanity.
Having a clear understanding of the divorce procedures, can relieve stress, headaches and most importantly, less time dwelling on the am I making the right choice syndrome. Below, will be a general outline and model for how to file a divorce. Let’s choose North Carolina because its laws cover a lot of the basics, though each state is slightly different:
- 1. Separation
The couple must not cohabitate, and become physically separated. However, to be legally separated one must obtain a “divorce from bed and board.”
- 2. Divorce
A spouse must file a divorce complaint with Clerk of Court in their county of residence. After living apart for a 12-month sentence, then one can file for a legal divorce.
- 3. Mediation
This is the best way to go, because it allows couples the avenue to be less formal, amicable, and willing to help couples find solutions to come to agreeable terms.
- 4. Final Divorce
This allows the judge to hear from both sides and a judgment is passed, that is in the best interest of both spouses.
- 5. Settlement Agreement
Usually this is reached during mediation, but after a final divorce and notarization, this answers all questions of child custody, assets, and alimony. This notarized agreement can be held in any court.
After looking at this general overview of the divorce procedures, there are some outliers that are still needed to consider.
For instance, how are assets divided? Who receives what? Generally, when dividing assets, age, liabilities, income and current assets, one factor that most, deem grounds to request for more property is adultery. However, this does not always mean more green in the property division case, but in your quest for alimony, try and ask what your heart desire. If both spouses are faithful, then most of the principles that are used for dividing properties are used for alimony.
When you look at divorce, it is a messy, volatile, emotional process, which can be friendly, if you remember the guiding principle of love. Yes, both of you are angry, even embittered at why you are even at the prospect of a divorce, but you started down the aisle together, for a reason, at least in trying to separate your lives, remember, there may come a day, when you may need each other again, especially when there are kids involved. Kids are a factor that cannot be overlooked, remember, they are not emotional tools, they are also people involved in a arduous process, no matter the age.
Just remember, to stay peaceful with each other. Sometimes going for the jugular, could mean you’re heartless and end up with nothing but regret. Your life is not over with a divorce, just keep a clear objective as to the reason why you began down this road – and the destination.